I decided to use one of the many corny jokes in my back pocket for this post.
One of the things I focus on is building strong relationships with people. I think that extends to the relationship you have with yourself.
In any relationship, there are some common elements that must be present to have a healthy relationship: trust, honesty, communication, shared common interest.
Honesty is a big one in any relationship. While I don’t believe people intentionally lie to themselves, we all tend to use some form of denial or rationalization for behaviors, thoughts and actions that we know aren’t good for us.
Denial is a dangerous one. Denial is a passive form of not accepting a truth.
For me, it was my weight and health. Being a former college football player and generally bigger guy, I always told myself it was ok to not strive for optimal health. Sure, I would go to the gym and go through the motions but I wasn’t really pushing myself or working towards my best self.
I told myself it was ok. I didn’t need to lose weight to be confident or successful. I was in complete denial of a truth, your health is the cornerstone of your very being. It is the foundation, the source of energy and is an immediate signal of your self respect, self discipline and your overall ability to control your impulses.
One week into my marathon training, I’m having breakthroughs in confidence, self esteem, energy levels and overall excitement about where I’m going in life. Imagine what this will be like when I cross the finish line!
Denial flows into many areas of our lives.
Maybe you’ve heard or used some of these:
- I don’t need to work hard the last hour of the day
- It’s ok if I skip this one workout
- My girlfriend understands that I’m too busy right now to spend time with her
- It’s ok that I’m $15,000 in credit card debt, I know people who are far worse than me
- It’s ok if I skip my kids soccer game to have a drink with the guys
The list goes on and on. These type of thoughts are dangerous thought patterns that not only directly impact that area of life, it flows through your entire being.
Are you the type of person who follows through on their commitments? The type of person who lives within their budget and saves? The type of person who goes to the gym when they know they should but really don’t want to? The type of person that shows the people they care about how much they mean to them through their actions and not just their words?
If you are guilty of this, don’t beat yourself up!
Recognize the problem and tackle it. Odds are if you’re feeling some form of frustration in your life, you may not be living up to your standard or ethos.
This is why having accountability partners is so important! Confidants who know you, know what your about and will hold you to your own standard. They’ll tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. They will help you identify blind spots.
Accept the truth of the situation and devote yourself to changing it. To fitting it to match your own moral compass. To align with your hopes and dreams.
The very act of taking action and modifying the behavior is empowering and uplifting!