The Tipping Point

Tipping Point

On a recent coaching call with one my new clients who is embarking on a new career, we started getting into her belief systems and her self-doubt.

She has been successful in area of her life which includes being a great mother, maintaining optimal health, having meaningful relationships and even being successful in her career.

As we started digging into some concerns she had about this business she is starting, some frustrations and fears started to emerge.

She was frustrated that she wasn’t where she wanted to be.  While having drive and wanting more is a part of the motivation and ambition that compels people to high levels, unrealistic expectations and not celebrating the progress you is disempowering.

As we dug into the root of this frustration, a limiting belief of self-doubt emerged.  She had always thought she wasn’t good enough.


Belief systems are powerful things that drive everything we do.  A positive one creates confidence, conviction, passion and motivation.  A negative creates fear, anxiety, doubt and insecurity.

When you have a belief system, you look for evidence to support it.  If you believe you’re not good enough, you will look for all the times you didn’t accomplish, you fell short and failed.  You will reinforce that belief and ultimately bring in negative emotions that act like an anchor in your business or professional life.

As we started challenging this belief system and reinforcing new, positive and empowering ones you could tell in her voice that her confidence and conviction had changed.  Now this isn’t something that will change overnight as you constantly have to build up that new belief system until it just becomes you.

The tipping point is when your belief in yourself becomes stronger than your self-doubt.  This is done by challenging and weakening limiting beliefs and creating new, powerful and positive beliefs that will propel you forward.

From working with highly successful people for over 13 years, I’ve learned that these people have so much conviction, confidence and self belief that even when they take risks by entering new careers, starting businesses or re-inventing their current career, they have succeeded because they had far exceeded the tipping point.


One of my clients, a CFO of a large company, meets with Warren Buffet 4 times per year.  Hearing this man talk, the way he thinks and how he approaches life is very inspiring.  He’s the kind of person that you want to lead, that you will follow because he has so much belief.  He’s been successful for so long that the option of failure isn’t even on his radar.

Whether you’re just starting to focus on your career, starting a new business or making a change, take the time to think about what you believe.

  • Do you believe you are good enough?
  • Do you believe you have what it takes to be successful?
  • If you don’t have all the skills you need, do you believe that you can acquire them?
  • If you are unhappy with your situation or want more success but seem stuck, do you believe you can change it?  Is it permanent?

If you identify a negative limiting belief, start challenging it with experiences that disprove that belief.  Think of new beliefs that are positive and will get you were you want to go.  Find examples that will re-enforce those beliefs.

Much like Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re probably right.”

Posted in Business, Character, Confidence, Goals, Leadership, Motivation, Purpose, Self, Success, Success Psychology, Success Systems | 4 Comments

Three Steps For Success


With my first post of the year and a new direction, I thought I’d start out with a core strategy that I’ve implemented to build up a $330 million financial service practice.

I will do this as a 3 part series to give you time to digest the information and then go through the steps yourself.

The 3 stage system is simple: Dream.  Plan.  Execute.

Many of the clients I work with, are already extremely successful.  They are typically in their late 50’s, are high level executives and are leaders in their line of work.  They are CEO’s, CFO’s, Executives, Doctors, Lawyers and Entrepreneurs.

One key trait of highly successful people is that while they have already experienced a lot of success, is they are constantly reaching for new goals and challenges that gives them the personal and professional growth that leads to fulfillment.

Tony Robbins often talks about the key to optimal motivation being a function of creating emotional leverage that compels us to take action in a direction of our choosing.

The first step of this process centers around getting a client out of the logical world and into an emotional world, where they become a creator and tap into their purpose in life.


Step 1: Dream

Dreaming has many definitions but the one I like is to conceive or imagine.  The beginning of any success starts as an idea.

While you want it to be realistic, how do you know what is realistic?  Are you letting others define that or are you committed to testing and trying to see what is possible?

One of the clients I work with, who makes well over $2 million a year, came from humble, small town beginnings.  Early in his career he never would have dreamed of making that much money.  It wasn’t until he starting achieving success that his dreams started to change and lead him to the point he’s at now.

These dreams should evolve as your learn, grow and redefine what is real and what isn’t.

This step is something a lot of people want to skip but in my opinion is the most important. To create a vision of your future, to go from scarcity to a world of opportunities, to imagine yourself as the person you’ve always wanted to be, doing the things you wanted to do is empowering and motivating.


In Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, he talks about the acorn dreaming of growing into the 100 foot oak tree.  You wouldn’t know it as a seed but it continues to grow into something bigger.

Planning takes on a whole new meaning as you go through this step.  You can see it people’s eyes, hear it in their voices and see it in their actions as they commit to something big, often bigger than themselves.

While goals are important, it’s the dreams that get us out of bed in the morning attacking our life with a passion and zest that people often notice but seldom understand.

As I developed my Foundations coaching program, this is the very first step I take people through.  Whenever someone is questioning why they are working so hard, sacrificing and facing challenges head on, you only need to look at your dreams to acknowledge why you’re doing it.

If it doesn’t produce that type of response, you need to go back to the drawing board.

If you skip this vital step, you will easily give up as the challenges start getting more difficult.  I’ve seen brilliant people worth millions who are successful in other areas of their life fall into this same trap.

Your dream is the source of inspiration, motivation and purpose.  It is the most important thing you can do on your journey to success.



Posted in Business, Confidence, Focus, Goals, Leadership, Motivation, Performance, Planning, Success, Success Psychology, Success Systems | 2 Comments

Perspective: What can you do in 6 weeks time?

Perspective is defined as a mental view or outlook; the relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and the whole.

Once you’ve established goals and are implementing your action plan, it’s important to reflect back and gain perspective.  All those steps over time can grow exponentially as you reach new heights and/or levels.

As I struggled with my swim today, stopping in complete exhaustion after 1000m, I started to worry about my ability to live up to my end of the bargain in a team triathlon.  As you may have guessed, I’ll be swimming.  1500m to be exact.

My goal was to swim 1500m today but I just couldn’t do it.  I was completely exhausted from my 10 mile run yesterday.  My legs were dead and I just didn’t have it.  Self doubt started to creep into my head until I applied one of the many lessons and skill sets I’ve acquired over the years, putting it into perspective.

Just 6 weeks ago, I couldn’t even run 1 mile without having to walk.  In short 6 weeks time, I went from not being able to run 1 mile to running 10 miles.  When I committed to running a marathon, I put my trust and faith into the program I selected, my hard work and determination.

If I can increase my running output by 10 fold in 6 weeks, who knows what’s possible with my swimming goal?

This idea settled my down and I continued to reflect back on all the things I’ve done in 6 weeks:

  • created an opportunity, closed the relationship and increased my income $40,000 in the process
  • increased my running distance to 10 miles
  • lost 18lbs
  • read 10 books
  • learned over 20 songs on guitar

I don’t say these things to impress you, but rather to impress upon you what’s possible in such a short period of time.

It’s pretty amazing when you sit back and think about it!  Now think about that type of focus, commitment and action over months and years!

All those days you invest in yourself, add up and compound.  Use perspective to gain an edge over self-doubt, skepticism and cynicism.

What will you accomplish over the next 6 weeks?

Posted in Focus, Goals, Planning, Self, Success | Leave a comment

A Powerful and EASY way to Stay Focused on Your Goals

I stumbled upon this idea a few months ago after my work password expired and I was struggling to find a new password that didn’t match any of the previous 30 passwords.

We live in a world of internet security.  You have online bank accounts, brokerage accounts, emails, facebook, linkedin, wordpress, work passwords, passwords for programs and a myriad of other passwords.

By now you should be getting the idea, use your personal and professional goals for passwords.

I have to type in my work password 30-40 times a day.  What better way to stay focused on your goal than to have to think about it and type it that many times per day?

Disclaimer: None of these are my actual work password 

For example:

  • make250k
  • lose30lbs
  • run26.2
  • eat2000cal
  • bench400
  • train4tri
  • read20books

Even better, since most internet hackers don’t know your personal goals, only a few people would be able to guess assuming they knew you used them for passwords.

My last password was one of my health goals.  Typing that password when I had junk food cravings, before lunch or when I was feeling too tired to work out, reminded me what my goal was and got me to think how one of those decisions would impact that goal.

Try it and let me know what you think!

Posted in Character, Confidence, Focus, Goals, Health, Leadership, Motivation, Self, Success | 3 Comments

Two Simple Questions that will Unlock Unlimited Motivation

Working with multi-millionaires, you would think these people are the masters of planning.  Planning involves several elements that are critical to success.  Often times, these people cannot answer 2 simple questions that are the key to success, motivation, achievement and fulfillment.

The reason so many people fail to meet or exceed their goals is because those goals have no meaning to them.  It does not resonate with them.  They don’t tap into those deep inner emotions that drive every decision, behavior, action and habit that we have!

The biggest mistake most people make when setting a goal is asking the question how am I going to do this before they can answer these 2 questions:

  1. Why is important to me?
  2. How bad do I want it?
These 2 very powerful questions will not only help you reach goals, they will cause you to fight through every mental barrier you face and will have you so committed that you will run through a brick wall to accomplish them

If you can’t answer those 2 questions, then you will be spinning your wheels.

Most everyone wants to be healthy, fit, financially independent, a great career, meaningful relationships, great parents and happy.  Why is it that so many people struggle to reach those things?

The first question is the fuel for your goal.  Why is this goal important to me?  If you really want to make 6 figures, why is that important to you?  Is it something you’ve been told is successful?  Is something that sounds nice?  Odds are, those aren’t reasons that will compel you to get out of bed in the morning ready to take on the world and reach that goal.

You have to dig deeper!

If making 6 figures will provide the level of security your family needs and deserves.  That will fuel you!  If making 6 figures will give you the satisfaction of knowing you busted your butt to make it happen.  That will fuel you!  If making 6 figures will provide the lifestyle full of adventure, excitement and fun that you’ve always craved.  That will fuel you!

Think about your goals.  Why are they important?

Take time with this step.  Come up with several reasons.  The more reasons you have, the more you focus on those reasons, the more it will drive you through those tough times that have caused you to quit in the past.

The last question, how bad do I want it or how much am I willing to give up to get this is your level of commitment.

If you’ve identified what you want and why you want it, now you need to be able to answer how bad do you want it.  Are you willing to give up TV, pizza, going home at 4pm, drinking beer with the guys?  If not, then this goal isn’t that important to you and you haven’t successfully answered the 1st question.

After you answer the 1st question, you should be so fired up that you are willing to re-prioritize your life so that everything else becomes secondary.

Once you can successfully answer those 2 questions, the how am I going to accomplish this becomes easy.  Your brain, your creativity, your drive and inner purpose will compel you in a direction to reach your goals and reach a level of happiness and fulfillment you’ve always believed yourself capable of.

Posted in Self | 2 Comments

What’s Your Story?

We all have a story.  For some, that story is the story of success, perseverance, overcoming obstacles, being tough and one of pushing it to the limit.  For others, it’s one of being a victim, one of being dealt a bad hand, one of not being able to do anything right and life not being fair.

Odds are, if you read this blog, you are in the former.

Whatever your story is, you can change it at any time.  Are you the hero?  The champion of the people?  The person who overcame your struggles to lose weight?  Or are you the person who gave up and settled?

Your story needs to have several elements to it.  If you pay attention to movies, books and stories, you realize they all have several common elements that go something like this: hero or heroin is unsure of themselves but sets out to accomplish something.  Along the way, they face several challenges that force them to learn new things and acquire new skill sets.  They then face the final test, where they have to use the culmination of everything they learned to overcome a final test which gives them some kind of reward ranging from the princess, the pot of gold, saving the village or learning something valuable.

The first part of your story, has to begin and end with you.  What is your character? Successful businessman, mother, triathlete, husband, soldier or any other possible characters you want to be/play.

Secondly, what challenge, journey, test, accomplishment, adventure, quest do you want to do?  This is essentially what you want your story to be about.  In Star Wars, yes I’m a closet nerd, Luke Skywalker sets out to help a princess and stumbles across a jedi knight.  He then decides he wants to be a jedi and has to learn the force.

What skill sets will you need to acquire to accomplish this?  In the Star Wars example, Luke has to learn how to use the force without turning to the dark side.  If you want to be a successful in your career, what skill sets will you need?  Will you need to lead better?  To better organize?  To manage your time better?  To stay on task?

How will your story end aka what is your goal?  How will you define what success is?  If your goal is to make $250,000 in one year, that’s pretty easy to define.  That’s why it’s so important to be specific with your goals, so you know when you get there.

What villain/monster will you have to defeat?  Maybe it’s you.  Maybe it’s your self doubt.  Maybe it’s someone in your life that you are allowing you to hold you back from reaching your dreams.

By now, you should catch the drift.  You have to craft your own story.  This story will change over time as new challenges and goals arise.  Will you be the hero or the victim?  What role will you play?

You get to choose!

Posted in Character, Confidence, Focus, Goals, Health, Leadership, Motivation, Planning, Purpose, Self, Success | Leave a comment

The Four Most POWERFUL Words in ANY Language…

“I can do this!”

“Puedo hacer esto!”

“Je peux le faire!”


“Ich kann dies tun!”

We live in a world of no, can’t, don’t have enough time, doubt, not now and it’s not possible.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.  Sometimes it’s the people you surround yourself that doubt your ability to change, grow and improve yourself.  In both examples, the idea that you are only limited by your own beliefs is a scary thought.

When you remove all the excuses and say the simple words, “I can do this,” you empower yourself.  You shut off the part of the brain that some people call being “realistic.”  In reality, it’s just an excuse to not try or push yourself.

We all have limiting beliefs.  They define our reality.

It’s true that you need to be realistic but unless you’ve tested yourself, how do you know what’s real?  What you’re capable of?

The next time you get the idea to try something and you or someone you know doubts you, remove those negative words and replace them with, “I can do this.”

Say the words right now to something you’ve been preventing yourself from doing for awhile.

How does it feel?  What mood change do you notice between the way you used to think and then using those four simple words?

Scary thought that maybe you’ve been preventing yourself from the success you’ve always wanted and dreamed of.

Use those words to empower yourself in all areas of your life.  Become a doer not a thinker or a maybe person.

You CAN do this!

Posted in Character, Confidence, Focus, Goals, Health, Leadership, Motivation, Performance, Planning, Purpose, Relationships, Self, Success | 4 Comments

What is the longest river in Africa….Denial!

I decided to use one of the many corny jokes in my back pocket for this post.

One of the things I focus on is building strong relationships with people.  I think that extends to the relationship you have with yourself.

In any relationship, there are some common elements that must be present to have a healthy relationship: trust, honesty, communication, shared common interest.

Honesty is a big one in any relationship.  While I don’t believe people intentionally lie to themselves, we all tend to use some form of denial or rationalization for behaviors, thoughts and actions that we know aren’t good for us.

Denial is a dangerous one.  Denial is a passive form of not accepting a truth.

For me, it was my weight and health.  Being a former college football player and generally bigger guy, I always told myself it was ok to not strive for optimal health.  Sure, I would go to the gym and go through the motions but I wasn’t really pushing myself or working towards my best self.

I told myself it was ok.  I didn’t need to lose weight to be confident or successful.  I was in complete denial of a truth, your health is the cornerstone of your very being.  It is the foundation, the source of energy and is an immediate signal of your self respect, self discipline and your overall ability to control your  impulses.

One week into my marathon training, I’m having breakthroughs in confidence, self esteem, energy levels and overall excitement about where I’m going in life.  Imagine what this will be like when I cross the finish line!

Denial flows into many areas of our lives.

Maybe you’ve heard or used some of these:

  • I don’t need to work hard the last hour of the day
  • It’s ok if I skip this one workout
  • My girlfriend understands that I’m too busy right now to spend time with her
  • It’s ok that I’m $15,000 in credit card debt, I know people who are far worse than me
  • It’s ok if I skip my kids soccer game to have a drink with the guys

The list goes on and on.  These type of thoughts are dangerous thought patterns that not only directly impact that area of life, it flows through your entire being.

Are you the type of person who follows through on their commitments?  The type of person who lives within their budget and saves?  The type of person who goes to the gym when they know they should but really don’t want to?  The type of person that shows the people they care about how much they mean to them through their actions and not just their words?

If you are guilty of this, don’t beat yourself up!

Recognize the problem and tackle it.  Odds are if you’re feeling some form of frustration in your life, you may not be living up to your standard or ethos.

This is why having accountability partners is so important!  Confidants who know you, know what your about and will hold you to your own standard.  They’ll tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.  They will help you identify blind spots.

Accept the truth of the situation and devote yourself to changing it.  To fitting it to match your own moral compass.  To align with your hopes and dreams.

The very act of taking action and modifying the behavior is empowering and uplifting!

Posted in Character, Confidence, Focus, Goals, Health, Leadership, Motivation, Performance, Planning, Purpose, Relationships, Self, Success | 2 Comments

This is such a great post that it needed to be shared! Great post Laura!

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BHAG’s: Big Hairy A** Goals


When I first heard the term BHAG, my mouth about the floor.  I couldn’t believe the speaker used that term at a business meeting!  Was it even appropriate to say?

I struggled with the title of this post and decided to roll with it because of the shock value and because it drives home the point.

What I’m about to share with you goes against the advice of anyone that helps people set goals.  You’re supposed to set SMART Goals.  I even use the term.  The letter R stands for realistic.

What is realistic?

When JFK challenged our nation to be the first to the moon, it was BHAG.  It had never been done before and quite frankly, at the time, it seemed next to impossible.

I just set a personal BHAG.  I will be running the Nike Women’s Marathon in October.  I currently can run around 3 miles.  Between now and then, I will have to figure out how to run 23 miles more than I currently can.  While I know it’s not impossible, to many, it seems unrealistic.  That’s ok.

Every now and then it’s good to push so far out of your comfort zone to see just what your capable of.

An old business coach of mine used to say, optimal motivation is reached when there is a 50% chance of failure and a 50% chance of success.  The problem for many of us, is we don’t know where that threshold is.

Staying inside your normal range of what’s possible will keep you from truly defining what that threshold is.

What is possible?  For most people, that’s defined by society, friends, family and even your own limiting beliefs.

Why not step so far outside of your realm of what’s possible to better define that 50% threshold?

That’s what it’s all about.  Better defining your threshold.  So maybe I fall short on my goal to run 26.2 miles consecutively.  I will finish the distance, even if I can only run 20 miles of it.

In the process, I will lose 30lbs, be in the best cardiovascular condition of my life, set myself up for better long-term health and gain greater core confidence.  There is no failure!

The next time someone says you can’t do something, test yourself, prove them wrong and see what’s possible.  You just might be surprised!

Posted in Self | 4 Comments